“How to Be A REAL Success” Blog Post

This post is about four nuggets that I took away from the “How To Be A REAL Success” program by John C. Maxwell.

Relationships: 101% principle

The 101% principle means to find the 1% that you agree on in a relationship and then give it 100% of your effort. In other words, to establish common ground between you and the other relationship—find something that you both like, that you both do, that you both are interested in—and then work on it. This opposes what many people often tend to do instead: picking on what you don’t agree on, which would not be good for your relationship at all as the disagreement could grow until it devastates your relationship completely—for example, in divorce in a marriage! I chose this principle because it is very concrete and can certainly help in keeping relationships strong. The main part that is relevant to me is the “establish common ground” part. Upon reflecting, I realize that I do not do this often; I don’t try to find out more about the interests of my relationships. I mainly only care about myself. Therefore, I would like to apply the 101% principle to future leadership activities, trips, and events. When I am in conversation with another person, I will try to find common ground, ask about their interests, and find out what we both have in common. Then, I will try to build on that by giving it 100% of my effort. For example, if after asking and listening to what my companion likes to do I find that they also enjoy knitting, then I would be delighted and ask them more about what they knit. If not for COVID we could perhaps schedule a time to knit together, or discuss projects and ideas with each other.

 

Equipping: Start noticing the leadership potential in those around me

To notice the leadership potential in those around us means to pay attention to the people around us and form a conclusion of, or acknowledge, what they can do. One would want to do this because to succeed, one must Equip, which means not to do everything on your own—so then the question is, if not you, then who to do the tasks? One will need to find others to do them, and equip them to do so—and the first step to start equipping is to notice what others can do—the leadership potential in those around us—instead of trying to do all the tasks yourself. I chose this principle because if I start noticing the leadership potential in those around me, then I will know who to start equipping, and it will also help me in terms of building relationships as I will be paying more attention to those around me. I will start applying this principle to future leadership activities, trips, and events, by paying attention to others and how they conduct themselves as well as those around them. I will think about what scenarios or circumstances each person would be good at leading, making mental notes of what I observe. As an illustration: I might notice that so-and-so can really be loud…good leader in loud settings like crowds. Or, so-and-so is not so loud but always very calm…hmm, would do great to partner with the other and lead in times of chaos.

 

Attitude: Foster a healthy attitude in myself for my family, friends, and co-workers

In this principle, I would define “healthy attitude” as: thinking positively, or having a positive approach and outlook. The opposite of a healthy attitude would be: having negative thoughts that disrupt relationships with family, friends, or co-workers. How could one’s negative thoughts disrupt anything, you may ask? Well, what you think governs what you do. For example, if Person A thinks “I don’t like Person B,” then he will act in a manner that signifies he doesn’t like Person B. As a result, Person B could feel hurt, and Person A’s relationship with Person B may slowly fall apart. This is why you would not want to have such negative thoughts and instead, foster a healthy attitude as this principle states! It is in this way that one’s attitude governs one’s life. How you think becomes how you do, therefore attitude can turn problems into blessings. I chose this principle because I don’t always have a healthy attitude, which is why I need to work on fostering one! Deep down, I feel and know that attitude is something I need to improve. My parents have also alerted me before about my attitude and behavior—my attitude has gotten in the way of how I did something before. For instance, there was a period of time in the past when I was thinking many negative thoughts, and this affected how I did in some of my commitments like playing piano. I didn’t have the motivation and kept negatively talking myself out of playing, when playing was what I needed to do. This downward spiral ended as my parents did not like my behavior, I got some talks, and learned lessons which I am writing about now: a heathy attitude is the way to go, not a negative one! So, I will foster a healthy attitude for my family, friends, and co-workers (can boost my relationships also!). When I am on future leadership activities, trips or events, I will apply this by thinking positive, having a healthy attitude, fostering a positive approach and a positive outlook—not being negative, complaining, or dwelling on things that aren’t going right—for everyone around me.

Leadership: Model the way

This principle that leaders do means to act and do everything as if you are an example for others—doing the right thing that you would want others to as well. How this principle works to make you a Leader is through the power of example—when people realize that you are an example, you become the Leader. You are leading them, who are your followers. In other words, people do what people see: you do good, people see you, then everybody will follow you and get good. This is my understanding of this leadership principle. I chose this singular principle because I know that I am often simply a follower in leadership settings. It has never crossed my mind that I should model the way. But I have realized that modelling the way could be my cue, or starter, to make me become a better leader, if I model the way like a leader, instead of following instructions all the time like a follower. Modelling the way can be a first step to leading directly. To apply this to future leadership activities, trips, and events I will try to model the way by doing what’s right. Do what I would want others to see me do and think Oh, I should do that, that’s the right way to act. A larger goal of mine would be to slowly model the way more directly, by telling people this is what I do (in a loud voice). To put in perspective: Let’s say we are on a hike. It is a very dry and hot day. To model the way, I can pull out my water and drink some. This is modelling the way because if everyone drinks water, then chances of anybody getting a heat stroke will be lower—it’s the right thing to do. Now, to build on that for my larger goal, the next step would be to suggest to the person beside me to drink water too. To extend further I might tell my whole group to do so—in a loud voice, as my goal this year is to speak up so everyone can hear me.

Thank you for reading! I hope this post can help both me and anybody reading this get closer to becoming a REAL Success!

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